So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
honey bunches of taint.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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