That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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