it glows. i had to have it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My bed smells like the plague
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize