I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
