You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
