worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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