put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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