if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize