there's paper in my vomit.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
