If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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