if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
