she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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