I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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