Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
