I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just blew my weed a kiss
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize