it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
