wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
