if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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