I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
