I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
