Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
