I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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