Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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