Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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