White coat. Heels.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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