oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So here I am, sexting at work.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
