plz talk dirty to me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
