Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
