I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
