Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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