BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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