carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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