I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
be right there i have to get my cape
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
