do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
