He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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