you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
