i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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