K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
