worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
