he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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