do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
