I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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