That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
