You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
