I'm laying in your front yard are you home
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
