Where is the hickey?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
