R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
