You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I fill condoms, not promises.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
