You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
