In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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