Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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