thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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