I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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