I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
