i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
pray to the hookup gods
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
