Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
