you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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