We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
