I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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