Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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