i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
