I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
